it's been a long time, but i think i'm finally on my way back home.











i think i'm finally on my way back home, but it's been a long time...

2.) Discipline

¹ My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,

² turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,

³ and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,

⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,

⁵ then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

⁶ For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

⁷ He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

⁸ for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

⁹ Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

Proverbs 2:1-9

but dang man... this kind of trust is hard to grasp...

1.) Priorities.

²⁵ "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:25-33

yep

Dear Spencer,

How 'bout you stop trying to spite people and do something that's good for you for once?
How 'bout you stop being so self-centered?
How 'bout you take some responsibility from now on?
How 'bout you make life worthwhile?
How 'bout you stop living inside of your brain?
How 'bout you cook something instead of desserts?
How 'bout you make use of that pretty guitar you have?
How 'bout you start practicing harmonica again?
How 'bout you clean up that mess of a room?
How 'bout you finish up your graduation thank you cards?
How 'bout you follow through when you commit to something?
How 'bout you get off your butt and fight the flab?
How 'bout you stop trying to impress?
How 'bout you quit the jealousy?
How 'bout you stop worrying about the future?
How 'bout you invest in other people's lives?
How 'bout you give back?
How 'bout you stand up?
How 'bout you defend?
How 'bout you accept confrontation?
How 'bout you stop getting annoyed?
How 'bout you appreciate life?
How 'bout you chip away the shell?
How 'bout you strive for dreams?
How 'bout you be a friend?
How 'bout you stop doubting intentions?
How 'bout you stop the self-deprecation?

How 'bout you focus less on the things you can't change?
How 'bout you make steps to change the things you can?

How 'bout you stop blogging?

Sincerely,
Spencer

Okay. :)

Summer.

Today was officially the first day of summer...
the first day of my extended summer break until I start school in late September...
just another sunny day in the whole grand scheme of things.

I've got a couple of things I want to accomplish in these upcoming months:

FOOD: I want to be a little more than somewhat useful in the kitchen... and at the good ol' grill. So far: burgers, turkey meatloaf, crepes, carrot cake, tomato basil onion bread, herb dinner rolls, buttermilk cinnamon rolls. To come: sourdough bread, pizza, white bread, pumpernickel, chicken?, edible chocolate pudding cups.

GOD: I'm aiming to get back into doing my QTs more regularly and more thoroughly than I have throughout this past year. And plus, I have tons of books that I want to/should read: Fresh Wind Fresh Fire, Crazy Love, Forgotten God, and a couple of worship team books.

POETRY: I don't really know why... but I kind of like it.

GTAR: This may very well be the summer when I actually get the guitar I've been wanting for some 2 years now. Maybe she'll finally be mine. Breedlove C25-CRH... sigh. And I really should get back into practicing my scales and my noobie sheet music reading.

HARMONICA: The thing barely weighs anything, it's small enough to fit in a pocket, and even so it has proven to be a great way to express the thoughts and emotions of whoever plays it. bluesy. soulful. awwwwrighttttt! I had a fun jam sesh today. like... REALLY fun. Me and some prerecorded jam tracks.

THEORY: I have no idea why music theory is so intriguing to me, but nonetheless I'm having a great time learning the more straightedge side of music. I'm pretty comfortable with diminished and augmented chords now, but I have yet to understand the practicality of knowing modes.

EXERCISE: I should probably get some of it.

I rearranged my desk furniture in my room so that I now have a little desk to my left.
Should the inspiration strike me, I have a notebook and a pencil right there waiting.
And while I'm sloppily jotting down ideas to songs that I never finish because they lack any kind of cohesion, I can look up and out my window and see the ocean. :)

buhbyebyebye.

-Spencer

Dear Spencer,

It's time to grow up.

tapestry.

i'm terrible at knitting. i used to know how to crochet. my sewing skills are subpar.

so i'd like to at least be able to lace together my words and sentences into coherent ideas. but i guess coherency isn't something i'm born for. if the expression of my thoughts manifested itself in scarf-form, it would be one incredibly sad excuse for neckwear. it would be a fashion statement. a laughable one.

because i'd never be able to make my own, i have recently begun to delve into the poems, lyrics, phrases, quotes of some of history's most influential thought-weavers. robert burns is one big cheese ball. all of the bronte sisters are emo queens. anne is my favorite. eliot's poems are slightly ridiculous, but his creativity is admirable. "dare i disturb the universe?" wordsworth fails to draw my interest. poe is creepy. and he's so good at it. david has a certain mastery over the vicarious. his thoughts go to words, his words tug at the reader.

quality writing didn't end that far in the past, however. (is there hope for me?) the shadow proves the sunshine. all that's in my head is in your hands. these magnet hearts, they can't be kept apart. you make beautiful things out of the dust. Cause I want someone to share my smile, to share the pain, to be there when the sea turns gray.

i'd feel much better about getting a 914ce or that pretty breedlove i've been eyeing if stuff like the above spewed from both my mouth and my pencil tip. feel free to soak in that imagery. don't feel obligated to thank me. :)

some kind of emotional outlet would certainly be nice. my conversation is hindered by my s-st-stutters and the critical lack of that one string that holds coherent thought together. someone probably stole that string to fix my shambly thought-scarves. if not through words, i'd appreciate the ability to speak through majors and minors and modulations and funky intervals.

and i'm not even kidding. i hope it's not just me, but there's something really satisfying about playing some really assertive metal guitar chords. and then on the other side of things, you can always put on the jakeshimabukuro face and sway to some of your own beautiful fingerpicking. or you can pull a shaneandshane and make your right hand invisible for periods of time while you quintuple strum. (i'm pretty sure they had to write a couple new laws of physics cos of that dude...)

creativity is the ability to manifest the very essence of your being into a number of forms: written word... art... sculpture... musical composition... things we say... hobbies.
it is the ability (or lack thereof) to fashion a makeshift bridge, constructed with the above media, to span the immense chasm from the grey matter to the skull to the scalp to the hair to the outside. i'm not saying necessarily that i believe my words and thoughts are important, but i seek better bridge-building as a means of deflating balloons, or poking holes in pie crust, or resolving chords... counteracting measures against a constantly multiplying and expanding chaos in the noggin.

i really have no idea what prompted this blog.

maybe i like knitting?

or maybe i'm just bored...

or tired of doing homework...


buhbyebyebye.
-Spencer :D