{untitled}

A Prayer for the Ephesians

"¹⁴For this reason I kneel before the Father,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
¹⁵from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp...
how wide
and long
and high
and deep
...is the love of Christ,
¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

as brothers and sisters,
we there's a need
----to----
-----stay-----
--------rooted--------
------------in------------
--------------------the--------------------
--------love of--------------------Christ--------
--------in----------the--------truth -------of--------
--------the-----------Word---of------------God--------
--------so-----------------that---------------we--------
--------can--------------------------------begin--------
--------to------------LOVE---------fully--------
--------and-----------------------try --------
--------to--------comprehend--------
--------the---magnitude--------
--------of------God's--------
--------immense--------
--------love--------
--------for--------
------------
sinners like all of us.

we have to know what real love is first,
so we can give it to others.
take some time
to remember
how much
God
loved
will always
love you.

remembrance is always a good thing.

:D

later gators.
-spencer-

...thanks...

God's helped me to put things into perspective lately. :)

He's given me...

*The pleasure of having friends so caring that i'm alarmed by their kindness, that i'd have to fight hard to not talk to, that would have to struggle to not show His great love...
*Issues to work through that are hardly
life-threatening...
*So much to talk about that 1000 words will never be enough to tell everything He's let me do in 18 years and 6 days...
*An invaluable passion for music, an enjoyment of indie bands and obscure folk instruments...
*An ever-growing appreciation/love/joy/peace/satisfaction for/of/in/in/in Him...
*A self-confidence that is easily bolstered, that induces humility, that hungers for a certain hope in Him...
*A world so beautiful that i have to remind myself of greater treasures in the future, that cannot be contained in any stanza of poetry/by any camera/on any canvas...
*The ability to somewhat sift through and piece together all of the random, cryptic somethings flying around underneath my hair, between my ears, behind my eyes...
*His word to live by...
*The best example of love anyone could ever receive...
*Someone who died for my sake...
*A holy king in most humble form...

*Hope...

*Love...

*Life...

*Jesus.

how does "thank you" adequately express my thanks?
not very well...
actions speak louder than words.
i want my words to reek with hope,
so my actions can shout with a joy in His faithfulness.

have a great thanksgiving.

take some time to have another one tomorrow.

and the day after.

and the next day.

because if you want to thank God for everything He's done...

...

...

...


...you better get started soon...


...because He's not going to wait for you catch up.


:D


take care.


-spansor-

what.if.what.if.what.if.what.if.what.if.what.if.

hey there.

---xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvxvvx---

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

(Matt6.25-34)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Life is full of variables... like Carcurus... sigh. If we were to try to derive a formula to calculate the possible outcomes of any given situation we'd fail miserably. And yet, we're so good at pretending that we can figure these things out on our own, using the thick bricks of brain-mush and synapses on our necks to somehow plan out the future.

There are a couple of questions that beg for answers...

What is it exactly that you're worrying about?

tests.performances.friendships.awkwardness.embarrassment.fashion.appearance.
motivation.school.collegeapps.relationships.health.love.hunger.thirst.
...All of these things can be used to glorify God, but are we using them to do just that? or do we fail here?

Who is it that you're worrying for?

all too often, we find ourselves worrying for our own well-being. what will we eat? what will we drink? what will people think of me? what if i stumble? what if i say something wrong? whatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatif...
...if God takes cares of even the smallest creatures, why won't He take care of us? "Are you not much more valuable than they?"
...have you heard about how great God's love is for us? have you taken the time recently to reflect and remember His gift of Jesus to us? honestly. not even the fanciest custom guitar, the coolest designer whatevers, the shiniest foreign car, the largest mansion, or the warmest hug in the world could ever top that gift. THAT is crazy.
...even if precedence means nothing to you, the quickest look around would reveal countless blessings.

What do you plan to accomplish by worrying?

my usual excuse: i like to think things through. what's yours?

..."Who of you can by worrying add a single hour to his life?"

if you know anyone that can, please let me know. :) but the fact is: we usually end up wasting more of our lives than we intend.

So do not worry...
But seek His kingdom and His righteousness...

To me, that's one of the many chunks of the Bible that gives me a pleasant (because they bring beneficial realizations) slap in the face. So when I find myself worrying, debating possible outcomes, assuming things that aren't necessarily true, and ultimately living for the body at the bottom of the neck that holds the thick brick of brain-mush and synapses, I can take a look at these words directly from the mouth of Jesus and

... w a k e . u p ...

I need to get my mind off myself and refocus, remember, and redirect my aim back on God and striving to give Him glory. He has been and always will be faithful to take care of the rest.

:)

later, cool cats.
-spencer-

pslm.frty.tw

This chapter (Ps42) is epic. :)

For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and ⁶ my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Story of my life.

Haven't you ever sought after God with no apparent results? Have you ever had people question God's existence (well, if there IS a God, then why...)? Have you ever looked back at better times, when your faith stood unshakable and your joy complete?

This passage is incredibly depressing if you focus on certain parts of it.

"My tears have been my food day and night"

"My bones suffer mortal agony"

"...men say to me all day long, 'Where is your God?'"

But if you only latch on to all of the painnn and strifeee and trialsss and strugglesss, and just dwell in yours and the psalmists shared agony, misery, and overall emo-ness, you miss a HUGE aspect of the psalm.

What I love really like most about it is the psalmist's direct transition from admittance of grief to remembrance of God (v.6). boy, do i wish i could do that every time i become troubled. All too often I find myself (essentially) wallowing in the puddles of my own complaints, throwing fits, desperate for someone to commiserate with...

instead of turning around and shooting a sharp, disappointed, slap-in-the-face-y "What are you doing?" to my soul.

Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

take that little bit of extra time to remember who IS in control...

...and who isn't.

frankly.

I'm

pretty

grateful.

:D

-spncr-

gradual change in perspective

I am learning to look for the smaller victories everyday, because victories are still victories.
I want less of my own desires to be reflected in my actions.
I want to live in complete understanding of the magnitude of Your grace for me.
I want to be striving towards being the man, Christian, person, brother, friend, worship leader, ambassador that You have purposed me to be.
I want to be wholly devoted to worshiping You in all that I do.
I want to be wholly and frequently taking the time and energy to learn from wiser Christians.
I want to be wholly and deeply overcome when it comes to worshiping in song, caring not about where my hands are or where my eyes look, but where my heart is.
I want to be wholly and deeply satisfied with the person I am right now, faults and talents alike, that I wouldn't hesitate to use both to glorify You.
I want to be wholly and deeply satisfied in Your promises and Your provisions, having a true hope for the future.
I want to be wholly and deeply satisfied in You.

and in You alone.

Love,
-Spencer-

where the heart is.

I probably should have posted this with yesterday's post, but things only started making sense for me today.

I remembered that I didn't mention the purpose of relationships. (It's a broad topic, and I don't claim to be any kind of expert. It's just what I've been thinking about.)

³¹So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
(1Cor10.31)

"Whatever you do..."
Relationships need to be initiated with that mutual understanding of the purpose that all must be done for God's glory.

i just had a huge brain fart... so i'll cut to the chase and open the windows.

A couple of months ago, God gave me the privilege of encouraging one of my friends through a tough time. The concern was that we may not be able to see other friends and family in heaven (something that I was also wondering). now, I didn't know the answer to the question then and I still do not know, but as I explained my thoughts I could see how much the pure hope of heaven was being smudged by our own desires, the "If I were God, I would..."s. Even though there are sooooo many good things to be had on this Earth, there should be nothing getting in the way of our anticipation of worshiping God in heaven.

-short, but related tangent-
Besides the fact that love songs make up more than half (i counted them all up) of the songs we have within recent years, I've only realized that most of the songs that I really like are indeed those kinds of songs. The lyrics are nice, but for the most part I really enjoy hearing the musician's passion and love spill from their guitars and from their mouths (now isn't that, a pleasant image). With any incredibly strong feeling, like love, it's effects are obvious to anyone nearby. You know when one person likes another. You can tell when someone really needs revenge to satisfy themselves. It's easy to see when worship leaders do (and don't) believe in what they're singing. Love is powerful. Jesus died for us out of love. Love is powerful indeed.
-and we're back-

I've come to see love as a kind of attachment. You bond with a person on a deeper level, you miss them when they're gone, etcetcetcetcetcetera. In some cases, that kind attachment is good. In others however, I can see issues arise. You know what I realized? People die. All the time. and one day, that special someone of yours is going to pass away as well. Things like life and human love are fleeting. They're here. and then gone. It's a waste of energy to put so much time and effort into pleasing someone/something that will one day be gone. That's a lot of work for nothing.

Cynicism aside, we need to be pursuing relationships that are not only God-pleasing, but God-glorifying. weighty task, huh? Love for whoever God puts in your life is definitely not bad in and of itself and neither is caring for that "whoever", but when the desire to please/impress/attract that same "whoever" can rip your love of God to shreds, there's an issue that needs to be dealt with.

I'm going to give up my attempt to make sense of my brain mush for now. I promise you it made more sense a couple of hours ago.

:)

-Spencer-

somebody to love.

it's one of those songs that I really really love. some genius director put it in one of my favorite japanese movies, and whenever I get to that part of the film I always get that warm "this is so epic" feeling welling up inside of me.

it is my strong belief that everyone wants and needs love. the problem is that we're just constantly (and very easily) misdirected and misled. we throw our passions around haphazardly, running blindly to anything that even seems to bounce any of that love back on us, anything that feeds our need for validation (spin around twenty times and try skipping across the room to get the feeling). we hurl ourselves at music and art, positions of leadership, school, sports, parents, and often even more so at other people.

why do we waste our energy?

why do we tirelessly run after the fleeting, the fading, the ephemeral?

why, as solomon says so many times in ecclesiastes, do we go "chasing after the wind"?

I started reading ecclesiastes just now, and admittedly, i couldn't stop. (it's a good book. read it some time. :] ). I was trying to find this conclusion:

¹³ Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

(ecclesiastes12.13-14)

This two-verse conclusion is placed after 12 chapters of mind-numbingly depressing "this is meaningless"es and "that is meaningless"es. "This is the whole duty of man," solomon says. Maybe Jesus says it better:

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'^b]">[b] ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'^c]">[c] ⁴⁰All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
(matthew22.36-40)

"All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

the weight of that statement is HUGE. are you careful to make sure that you are loving God with all of yourself, with everything you've earned seemingly on your own merits,with nothing held back, nothing reserved? This is straight from the mouth of Jesus, the Son of our (and the only) God. This is NOT a suggestion. It's not a "hey, it would be super cool of you if you could...(fill-in the blank)". This is a COMMANDMENT, the "first and greatest" to be exact , and anything short of complete agreement supported by consistent action is disobedience. How would you respond if Jesus Himself were to tell you what the absolute greatest commandment is?

correct me if I'm wrong, but any sort of love we have for anything or anyone other than God seems like blatant disobedience. we're throwing our hearts, our energies, our passions at things that are not Him, and then when it does come time for worship (if ever you could designate a time for the act) we're tired from exerting and overexerting ourselves in all other areas...

I have a big problem with this. i like to enjoy things. things make me happy. some only make me marginally delighted. others give me that weird giggly-happy kind of joy that sticks to my face like glue, and when you've got emotions stuffed in the swirling mass of confusion that is my brain of late, anything that makes its way out must surely mean something. I like things for what they do for me, and how i feel about them. things that are easily accessible and always enjoyable always get my attention. and often i'm drawn away from anything to attend to these things. i love these kinds of things.

If I have any coherency at at all, you might be wondering, "Where's God in all of this?"

He's not. and there are lots of times when i do indeed keep Him a safe distance away.

Assuming those "things" are God-pleasing, enjoyment is not an issue. It's a matter of where we hurl our passions, our love. As you might know, I love guitar. shocker! calm yourself now. but if my time practicing, my time playing songs, my time jamming with people, my time sitting in wonder at the quality of tone ringing out from my thick-manly-phospor-bronze strings, is all accredited to either the guitar or my own progress, I fail. I fail hard. if my thoughts, my praises, my amazement, are not directed at the Lord, my God, the situation begins to sound like anything other than obedience to 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' if I begin standing in awe of my own ability (as barely existent as it may be) or my own dedication to a craft, I pull a gigantic, embarrassing faceplant, although I only notice when I examine my thoughts post-faceplant.I need to learn to thank GOD for those blessings he so freely grants me, and stop overglorifying the blessings themselves.

Right?

-break-

In an effort to further bore you to death (in doing so, cut readership :P) and in order to save me the time of making another blog post about this later, imma continue. :) I'll forgive you if you don't want to continue with me.

-here we go-

this includes relationships, beef/geef specifically. beginning the awkward in 3... 2... 1... 2... 7... 9... go.

you might've heard the question "what if we loved Jesus as much as we love that one guy/girl?" I can understand the intended meaning, and it still causes me to think about where I put my affections, but it brought up another question just now: "what if we loved others because we understand Jesus' love and because we love Him for it?" There's a process to this whole deal, a step 1 leads to a step 2, we need to love God first, so we can love other people.

I don't know it it's because I doubted myself, or because I doubted people as a species, or because I was just a chicken looking for an excuse not to take risks andpotentially most likely (according to my history) mess things up, but I had a growing skepticism of the value of such relationships that has only recently begun to change. my thoughts were that any and all relationships were entirely out of selfish ambition: one person is lonely and so is the other, and they don't mind being around each other, so it grows into something worthy of titling their magnitude of acquaintancy (I like making up words). I didn't want anything to do with that, thoroughly pointless kind of relationship. that much has not changed. but I do realize how many good relationships I lumped in there with all the ones I had no desire to be involved with.

society says that you get a beef/geef: to go to dances with. to stop your friends from making fun of you. to share secrets with. to have fun with. to have someone to dote on. to have someone to dote upon you. to have someone to make you feel like you're worth something to someone somewhere.

What I saw everywhere I looked was a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" situation. if you fail to make me happy, i'm leaving.period.

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Where's God in all of this?

something a cabin leader said a couple of years ago shook me. when our cabin time chat eventually made its way over to his personal life he told me and my cabinmates that his relationship with his girlfriend was between three people: himself, her, and Jesus. after I got over the initial awkwardness of his choice of phrasing, i could see the importance of what he said. beyond the affection, there's a cool, new kind of purpose and union.

³¹So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1corinthians10.31)

God's not a just a shared interest (we both love cooking, so we're perrrrfect for each other) He needs to be, as someone older and wiser told me, the "reason for the relationship". take a look at what love really is:

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(1Cor13.4-7)

I've grown up around this verse. i probably had to memorize it 1...2...3... four times in sunday school alone. but to be honest, I never really got it. (of course love isn't rude! love is love. why would it be angered? love is love!) it probably took me until half a year ago to really understand it.

Love is doing what's best for the other person (beef/geef status or not). Love is removing yourself from any sort of "picture" if that is what's really the best. Love is denying yourself for another person's benefit, whether the sacrifice is noticed or otherwise. Love is helping them grow closer to God, helping them to desire Him more. Love is dying in the cruelest way possible in order to save humanity.

If that IS what love is, how do our likes, "loves", and passions even become related at all to this love LOVE that God has shown us.

⁹This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son^b]">[b] into the world that we might live through him.
(1John4.9)

¹⁶This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
(1John3:16)

We've got three different givers: God, Jesus Christ, and then there's us.

There are three different gifts: Jesus Christ and life through Him, Jesus' own life, and then there's our own lives.

I hope you're as dumbfounded as I was/am at the three different gifts/givers and how their actions are all defined under the same word "love".

How does yours compare to God's?

How can it EVER compare to God's? :)

Looks like we could all learn a bit from Jesus' love.

:]

-spencer-

my mind is one giant mental loop

²²Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

²⁷"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ²⁸If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ²⁹And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

³²"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. ³³Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. ³⁴For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke12.22-34)

i just really like this passage. :)

it says a lot more than i know how.

epic first posts don't exist in my world

¹³Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ¹⁶As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. (James4.13-17)

I like feeling important, and unless I'm the only moderately self-centered human bean out there, you probably know a little bit of what I'm talking about. It's fun to know that with your own two hands you can build towering lego creations, bake tasty tasty tasty desserts, rock some mean guitar solos, do funny ParentTrap-esque secret handshakes, and build churches from the ground up. But in terms of doing everything as our spiritual acts of worship, simply ending the processes with stacked blocks, or good cookies, or awesome music, or a beautiful, well-constructed house of worship misses the point pretty blatantly. We need to be the people that give all of that praise and all of the acclaim and all of the glory right back to God. We need to be the people that go "Thanks for the compliment, but hey, it wasn't me. It was... *finger pistols to the sky* ...the Big Man."or something along those lines. For me, that's where the disconnect occurs. There's something that gets in the way of me saying "Hey, it was God". For the most part it just seems a tad bit odd to me. Where was God when i was getting shovel blisters? Where was he when I was pouring myself out for His work? (momentarily disregard the selfish ignorance in the previous two questions). I know only a handful of people that are really good about pointing things back to God. Society says if you work hard, you get the praise. But does that mean that we are to follow convention and just soak up all of the glory? I think it's pretty clear that we're not to do so.

The point is that because God gives us the strength, we are able to do these great things. (Phil4.13). Even though we cannot see His physical presence, that is no evidence that He is not at work. We can only go so far alone. Even the greatest of motivators can leave anyone exhausted and spent.

I'd like to think to think that I'm going to be around to see my great-grandkids grow up, to give a "when i was your age" so epic that it would be perceived delirium (you used to drive cars?), to see all guitars become double-necked harp guitar/banjo fusions. But the fact is that I'm not. and unless you're some kind of scientific super-genius, you aren't either. (hopefully the banjo-guitars don't show up any time soon) Chances are high that if you're reading this blog-thing and if you've read up to this point that I think you're something special. Chances are just as high (or higher) that I legitimately care about you. and now don't get me wrong, caring is nice. :) but who will care about who I was or who you were a century from now? At the very least you or I will be a name on a slab of rock, with only a short line or two summarizing an entire existence. At the very best, we'll get our own chapters in history textbooks so APUSH or EHAP kids can have something more to groan about.

We're not permanent. We're anything but.

James says that life is "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes," and in the grand scheme of things, we realistically don't have a fighting chance of being close to influential. But the thing I find amazing about our incomprehensibly mighty God is that He can use us (impermanent, fragile, overly sensitive, proud, lustful, and unloving as we are) as a part of His plan. That's very encouraging. And very frightening.

What is your life?

How are you living it?

-Spencer-